Sweet sin

7/19/11

I am starting up again, starting to blog. It has been a while since I felt like writing. A lot has happened in the last 18 months. Maybe I just want to write, maybe I have something to say, or maybe it is a little bit of both.


I have been dealing with sin for a while. In the process I have learned about the seduction of sin and just how sweet it is. I have also learned how easy it is to hide from people. People who love you and care about you don’t pick it up. Before you get the totally wrong idea, let me confess. My sin is idolatry. I have another god before the GOD. I have put this god first. I have not worshiped this god but I have given this god a higher place of priority in my life. This has grieved my Lord.

It took me a long time to see this. My form of idolatry is totally acceptable in the culture we live in. For a long time I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. But I was. My Lord is a jealous Lord and he would not put up with it for long. (Exodus 20:5). My bridegroom wanted his bride back.

And when I saw the sin, o man I was overwhelmed with sorrow and self recrimination. I spent some time in this place of sorrow. But here comes the seduction. Even then I wanted the sin back. And the battle started. That internal struggle that happens when sin is so sweet we do not want to give it up. My head – my past teaching was telling me to walk away. My desire was telling me nothing is wrong. The battle still rages. It is painful and ugly. Most days I win the battle but some days I don’t. And when I don’t, the sin is still very sweet.

That is how people live in sin for so long. A lot of sin is sweet and we desire it.

Where is God in all this? He is waiting and loving (grace - sweet grace). My bridegroom knows I have to walk back to him freely and with full desire. Not halfway but totally. He is faithful to me even when I have been unfaithful to him. He has given me the tools to use to walk away. The question is will I use them every day, every hour, every minute if I need to...T