The Hole

|

December 29, 2009

OK – I suppose I have to start writing again. The last 6 months I have been in my hole of grief, anger confusion, acceptance and hope. It’s time to come out and start living again.

The church – Stonemill Church – is gone but THE CHURCH is still there. Remember, "the gates of hell shall not prevail …..” Many of my church family will move on to other church family’s but many will join The Bridge Church, who opened their arms to all of us. The time has come to move on. There is only so long you can stay in that hole….T

Grief

|

December 10, 2009
I lost my church last week. I knew it was coming, the end was clear but I still hoped. I prayed to the God of Hope not to let this happen. The Sovereign God answered me – trust. I cried out to my Father, “That’s not fair!” My tender Dad said, “Sin never is.” No more words came after that but He read my heartbreak and answered, “My daughter, climb into my lap.” Which I did...T

Commander of Victories

|

September 4, 2009

We live in a evil world. As Christians we know that. But often we are surprised when evil becomes obvious in our lives. We see it in other peoples lives. We see it on the news and newspapers. We often don't see it in our lives. That is why I appreciate the little book - 31 Days of Power by Ruth Myers.

She reminds me of several things - 1. Our whole life as Christians is part of the battle between God and satan. 2. Our primary goal of our warfare is not to defeat satan but to further God's purposes in this world. It is in pursuing this goal, we must resist satan and bring the power of Christ against him. satan's goal is to frustrate our Father's purpose so when we have victories in furthering God's kingdom we have frustrated satan.

In any kind of spiritual battle, our main task is to PRAY and to SHARE the good news. We often get so focused on satan and his evil strategies we forget our on goals and strategies.

The truth is, we serve the Commander of ALL Victories. We serve the God of Hope. Our enemy is already defeated. I don't know the battles you are fighting today. Maybe it is finances, a job loss, health, addictions, marriage, or children. But whatever it is - brothers and sisters, do not throw the towel in YET! Put your armor on, take you stand in the hope of the Lord!...

Listening through Scripture

|

August 20, 2009



How do you listen to God? When is the last time you did listen to Him? What did he say to you? Did he tell you to do something or just have a conversation with him?




If the answer to these questions don't come easy then you may have a listening problem. In prayer, an emphasis is often placed on praise, confession, thanksgiving and asking. All of these parts are important but honestly they are all about our part of the relationship. What about God's part of the relationship? Us listening to God is almost always neglected or ignored.



One easy way to listen to God is through Scripture. When you read scripture ask yourself "What is God saying to me?" Personalize the scripture by inserting your name. Probe deeper in your heart to see what the Lord is pointing out.



To get some practice help, try the book: Simply Listening by Patsy Lewis. I have found it a great help to get me more focused on listening to him instead of me...T

I'm back

|

August 16, 2009

Well, I am back! I took the summer off and it was really wonderful. I got some much needed R & R. I spent some really great time with the Lord and we reconnected in some areas I really needed. I had some great "scrappin" (scrapbooking) times and got a lot of pages and cards made.

After a great rest, I am going fast and strong getting ready for the September Discipleship Month kick off. We are kicking off all Lifegroups, Women's & Men's ministries but we have a special emphasis on Sermon Based groups. After piloting them last year with awesome results we are really jumping in this year. What is a sermon based group? Leave a comment and I will tell you.....T

Obstacles To Intimacy with God

|

May 25, 2009

Catherine Martin says in her book A Heart that Dances “You and I are invited to engage in an amazing adventure: the adventure of knowing God. God says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NIV). He invites you to engage in something with Him that is much deeper than surface acquaintance. The word "know" implies familiarity, depth, and the kind of intimacy usually reserved for marriage. Intimacy is a relationship that goes deep and is marked by friendship and emotional closeness. It is private and personal. There is love, warmth, and intense joy in intimacy”.

Do you have intimacy with God like that? If you don’t, why?

Is it fear?

Fear is a powerful emotion that will often block intimacy. Are you afraid to let Christ in to ALL parts of your heart? Do you NOT trust Him? Our life’s as Christians is based on a deepening trust in God. It is trust, ever how little it may be, that first allows us to take that initial step to God. It is trust that guides us to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy, obedience and transformation. Trust is so very important to our spiritual journey.

Trust can be blocked if we carry with us negative attitudes toward God from early childhood. If we are afraid of God or see Him in a negative way trust goes out the window. Where there is fear, there is not trust therefore no intimacy. I would direct you back to Psalm 46:10. KNOW GOD. How much time have you spend knowing God and all the different ways he comes through in the Bible? How well do you know his attributes? How well do you know his character, his nature, his personality? Maybe, just maybe your view of God is not quite right. It’s hard to have intimacy with someone you don’t really know…..

T

Downward Spiral

|



May 19, 2009

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Casting Crown

So it is when we fall into sin.
This type of fall is very seldom quickly. Slowly, in small tiny bites godly character to eaten away and sin becomes the norm. Maybe it is “small” lies, maybe it is a quick look at that internet site, or maybe it is letting you anger fly. Whatever the compromise, whatever the deliberate looking away, whatever the oversight, before you know it you have fallen into a downward spiral of sin and a major chunk of your Christian character falls off.

Can it be stopped? How do you stop the downward spiral you have found yourself in? Here are a few practical steps;
  1. Take a few minutes and totally examine your life – your habits, your thoughts, your daytimer, and your checkbook. These activities will give you a clue concerning your spiral.
  2. Be fearless in this – don’t lie to yourself. Ask yourself the hard tough questions.
  3. Confess any and all sin before the Lord.
  4. Repent and make a plan of repentance. Ask the Lord to restore your intimate relationship with him.
  5. Find a accountability partner and meet regularly
Tell me how you have done…..T

Just Trust

|

May 7, 2009

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust--there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:19-32 (NIV)

Have you ever read the book of Jeremiah and Lamentations? I did – last summer. Jeremiah taught me a lot that summer. Jeremiah taught me to really pay attention to my heart and understand the heart attitude I approached God with.

“Should you not fear me?" declares the Lord. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it. But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away. They do not say to themselves, 'Let us fear the Lord our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest.' Jeremiah 5:22-24 (NIV)

Jeremiah taught me how to read spiritual maps and take the right path.

“This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)

Jeremiah taught me about boasting.

This is what the Lord says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NIV)

But the lesson that impacted me the most was his endurance lesson.

"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5 (NIV)

If you have ever read Jeremiah, you know life was extremely difficult for Jeremiah despite his love for and obedience to God. You have to ask, “How did he endure?” When he called to God for relief, God’s reply in effect was, “If you think this is bad, how are you going to cope when it gets really tough?” WOW! That is a tough answer. Getting an answer like that makes it easy to quit. Jeremiah didn’t quit – he preserved and endured. Do you ever feel like quitting? Jeremiah didn’t quit because he trusted. He had faith in God. His faith gave him hope. Even when he felt like quitting he still trusted. God honored that. God loved that. How do I know? Because….

This is what the Lord says: "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the Lord. [6] They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives. "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:5-8 (NLT)

Just trust.

T

Average Wars

|

April 29, 2009

Do you sometimes feel as though you are fighting your way through life and losing the battle? There are times in life when day to day living is just day to day combat fighting. There is the battle for good health, for a strong family, for healthy children, for a strong career – or just a job. The battles really are endless. I really like the Message version of James 1:2-4;

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. [3] You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. [4] So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Even now as I read this I think, “a sheer gift, RIGHT!!!” When I am in the middle of a battle, it is way too easy for me to do all that I can to get out of it. Staying in the battle so my “true colors” will come through is not typically the plan I have. That is why all battles are really spiritual battles - battles of faith. As Pastor Rusty will tell you in his current sermon series, Average Wars, we all struggle with doubt, sin, and temptation. Yet few of us are superstars. Most of us are average . . . average people facing extraordinary challenges. So I got to ask, how does this average girl win? How does the average anyone win?

Maybe I will pay a bit more attention to those sermons of yours PR…..T

Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage

|

April 20, 2009



In preparing to teach chapter 5 of Ephesians I came across the article "24 Ways to Strengthen your Marriage" by the Crosswalk.com staff. I normally do not like books or articles such as this however since I was in the research part of my preparation I decided to read it anyway. From my perspective, marriage is very hard and requires a lot of work and commitment. That being said, I have been rewarded with sweet loving satisfaction and growth with the one I love.

Being the best partner possible is not always easy. At times it's not fair. At times it hurts; it can be lonely. It involves choosing to love your partner whether he or she deserves it or not. It involves continuing the initial vows you made when you began your marriage. While the article list 24 ways, here are a few that struck me.

  • Start each day with a kiss. Decide to begin the day with love.

  • Wear your wedding ring at all times. Let it be a visual reminder of your commitment.

  • Accept differences. Try to remember that once you thought your spouse's idiosyncrasies were cute. Your chances of changing them are slim, so decide to live with them.

  • Be polite. Are you more polite to co-workers or store clerks than you are to the one you love? Practice good manners at home.

  • Be gentle. Harsh words and actions have no place in your home. Choose to be kind to those you love and who love you.

  • Smile often. Put on a happy face and let it determine your disposition. Remember how meaningful the glances were which you once gave each other.

  • Touch. A pat on the back or a soft caress of the cheek can show love and connection. Hold hands while watching TV.

  • Talk about dreams. Get your conversation beyond coordinating schedules and talking about the kids. Take time to talk about ideas and dreams.

  • Laugh together. Find something daily to share a laugh about. Life is complete with laughter.

  • Do what your spouse wants before being asked. Anticipate your spouse's needs and jump right in to help. Put his or her needs before your own comfort.

  • Listen. You don't have to solve problems, just be an active listener. Turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your spouse your full attention.

  • Encourage. The best way to give support is to encourage your spouse to do his or her best, to feel confident, or accomplish great things.

  • Apologize. Almost as good as I love you is I'm sorry, forgive me. Marriage isn't a game where you keep score. It's not important who's right.

  • Ask, What can I do to make you happier? You may be surprised at how simple it is to please your spouse.

  • Pray for your spouse daily. Don't let a day go by without praying for your marriage, your spouse, and your family.

  • Watch sunsets together. Find the beauty in life and share it.

Seems simple enough, I wonder why we don't do some of these things?

T

Fasting Results

|

April 15, 2009


Well, I fasted through Good Friday with Johnny. One of the main reasons I fasted was to prepare for Easter - get more in touch with the sacrifice Jesus made for me. At the end of my fast (which I stopped on Friday instead of Tuesday the 14th) I was somewhat disappointed. I am not sure at what or why but a vague sense of disappointment had settled on me. I even talked with Johnny about my fast being a “failure”.

But I have to tell you, God is mysterious in all His ways and didn’t look at my efforts as failure. Then Sunday came – He Arose! Ahh, Sunday was sweet indeed. Sunday worship was adoring and light-filled. I was giddy at being in the presence of my Lord. I enjoyed Him! I always enjoy worship but this was different. My soul was tasting the wine of heaven.

You see, my expectation of fasting was the experience would happen during the fasting. In this case – not true. Fasting does bring about one-on–one with God but during this time in my life it happened during worship – when I tuned my heart toward Him after a week of preparing for Him.

T

Fasting for Easter

|

April 6, 2009

I struggle with fasting, even though I greatly believe in its power to bring me closer to the Lord. Denying myself of food is difficult for me – to do so will be a sacrifice, a test to see how dependent on God I really am. But nevertheless, both Johnny and I have decided to fast as a couple to prepare our hearts for Easter. In some small way we will try to get in touch with the sacrifice Jesus made for us. After all, Jesus gave up everything –even his life-for us. Johnny and I will give up dinner for a week. To be specific, after we eat breakfast and lunch we will not eat again till breakfast the next day – only juice and water. He will fast through Good Friday and I will go through 4/14.

When I am fasting food, it is an opportunity for me to lay down an appetite-an appetite for something core to my survival –food. In doing this, it brings me face to face with the hunger at the core of my being – my Lord - which I also need for my survival. Fasting makes me see how often I try to use things of this world to satisfy my need for something not of this world – a Savior.

During my fast, every time I am hungry, I need to feast on Jesus. I need to find my nourishment on the Word of God. I need to get back in touch with what truly nourishes the soul – the Bread of Life and drink the Living Water. Stay tuned……

T

So what's the big deal about a little gossip?

|

March 26, 2009

A friend recently said to me, "Toni, I resolve to not gossip and walk away when I hear it, then a girlfriend comes up and starts talking and the next thing you know we are gossiping! UGH!! How do I stop???"

My friend was experiencing frustration in a area that if we are honest we will admit we all have felt. King Solomon (the wisest man on earth) said "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (Proverbs 18:8). Gossip is deliciously addicting. Gossip is dangerously deadly. Gossip and slander can ruin reputations, families, break up marriages, separate friends, destroy communities and, yes, even divide churches. Gossip is expressly forbidden. Then why do so many of us do it?

We often gossip to feel good about ourselves. We get an ego boost from others' sins and mistakes. To gossip makes us feel superior to the person we are talking about. (Pride) We also gossip to draw people into our own hurt and anger. We want others to side with us so we must tell our side of the story. Then our friends repeat the story to their friends and on and on it goes. Even if you say the truth, it does not justify unnecessarily passing on hurtful information about someone.

We have to remember words carry great power. God created the world through His words. He said, "Let there be light" and there was light. We listen and communicate words every day that either lift us up or bring us down. Powerful, positive words can offer great healing, while negative words contain great destructive power.

Whenever we talk negatively about people or listen to someone else talk negatively about others, we unleash that harmful power. So how do we use this power of words with others? Do our words lift and inspire, or do they destroy? Are they words of truth? Do we disclose truth in a hurtful way?

I happen to like the THINK formula. It is very simple to use before speaking of any person or subject that is controversial.

T--Is it True?
H--Is it Helpful?
I--Is it Inspiring?
N--Is it Necessary?
K--Is it Kind?

If what we are about to say does not pass these tests, we should keep our mouths shut. Period.

T

Sermon Based Groups

|

March 21, 2009

OK - It has been a while. A lot has happened since January 1 - both in this world and in my life. But no excuses - I am back.


One of the things I have been doing is reading Sticky Church by Larry Osborne.


Not a bad book on small groups. While I don't agree with everything he says in the book, it did put feet to a dream I have had concerning the LifeGroups at Stonemill Church (SMC). I have long wanted sermon based groups at Stonemill. Our body is young and fast paced and for many of them the traditional group will not work in their lifestyle. Sticky Church got me moving again in the direction of sermon based groups.



I started including sermon guides to Pastor Rusty's (PR) sermons on the SMC website (http://www.stonemillchurch.org/). These follow along with the actual sermon series PR is in. My immediate feedback came from the SMC Lifegroup Leaders: They loved them! The overwhelming opinion was “They were such time saver’s for the Leader.” Currently we have one group that I would call a “full fledged sermon based group” but several are "flirting around” with the idea of making their group sermon based. I am excited about this and the possibilities it offers the people of SMC but that is not all...




What about Internet surfers who are not members of a particular church or group? Having both the sermon audio and sermon guides on the website has the potential to reach many people outside the walls of SMC. Now THAT is exciting!!! The potential for Jesus out here in cyberspace is mind blowing!

The Gift of Money

|

January 1, 2009

Having money is a gift – though I haven’t always considered it so. In my recent past I have said “Having money is more of a curse than a blessing”. I now believe that to be wrong. Before you say “DUH” let me explain. When I was still financially challenged I learned one of God’s secrets to having money. “It all belongs to Him”. It is not really mine. He lets me keep a large percent of it because He enjoys giving His daughter gifts but truthfully it is ALL His. But learning this lesson had no impact on me because when you have so little money to begin with you are totally focused on getting food on the table and warm coats for the kids. Having money left over at the end of the money was a rarity if at all.

Then the day came when I did have money left over – a lot of money left over at month-end. More money than I needed or expected. That is when the distant memory of a lesson came back. If it was all His and I have met my needs, what should I do with the rest of the money?? Somehow it didn’t sit right in my soul for me to buy more “toys” or a nicer home or more stocks and retirement insurance. So why had God given me the extra money? This is where the curse comes in – I spent a lot of time and prayer trying to figure out what to do with the money. My peace was shattered as I worried if I would do the right thing and be a good steward of the money. I soon hated the extra money and wanted to go back to the way it was. But I knew that was wrong too.

Then the Lord answered my question;

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
Acts 1:8 (NIV)


I, Toni, have in my own life a Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and ends of the earth. Not only was my body to go to these places but God’s money was too! So I set about figuring this out. My

Jerusalem = Lawrenceville
Judea = Georgia
Samaria = United States
End’s of the earth = everywhere else

When I started determining if and how I was contributing financially in these four areas and making adjustments with God’s money the blessing of money came and therefore the gift of money was finally understood.

T