So what's the big deal about a little gossip?

March 26, 2009

A friend recently said to me, "Toni, I resolve to not gossip and walk away when I hear it, then a girlfriend comes up and starts talking and the next thing you know we are gossiping! UGH!! How do I stop???"

My friend was experiencing frustration in a area that if we are honest we will admit we all have felt. King Solomon (the wisest man on earth) said "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (Proverbs 18:8). Gossip is deliciously addicting. Gossip is dangerously deadly. Gossip and slander can ruin reputations, families, break up marriages, separate friends, destroy communities and, yes, even divide churches. Gossip is expressly forbidden. Then why do so many of us do it?

We often gossip to feel good about ourselves. We get an ego boost from others' sins and mistakes. To gossip makes us feel superior to the person we are talking about. (Pride) We also gossip to draw people into our own hurt and anger. We want others to side with us so we must tell our side of the story. Then our friends repeat the story to their friends and on and on it goes. Even if you say the truth, it does not justify unnecessarily passing on hurtful information about someone.

We have to remember words carry great power. God created the world through His words. He said, "Let there be light" and there was light. We listen and communicate words every day that either lift us up or bring us down. Powerful, positive words can offer great healing, while negative words contain great destructive power.

Whenever we talk negatively about people or listen to someone else talk negatively about others, we unleash that harmful power. So how do we use this power of words with others? Do our words lift and inspire, or do they destroy? Are they words of truth? Do we disclose truth in a hurtful way?

I happen to like the THINK formula. It is very simple to use before speaking of any person or subject that is controversial.

T--Is it True?
H--Is it Helpful?
I--Is it Inspiring?
N--Is it Necessary?
K--Is it Kind?

If what we are about to say does not pass these tests, we should keep our mouths shut. Period.

T