7/19/11
I am starting up again, starting to blog. It has been a while since I felt like writing. A lot has happened in the last 18 months. Maybe I just want to write, maybe I have something to say, or maybe it is a little bit of both.
I have been dealing with sin for a while. In the process I have learned about the seduction of sin and just how sweet it is. I have also learned how easy it is to hide from people. People who love you and care about you don’t pick it up. Before you get the totally wrong idea, let me confess. My sin is idolatry. I have another god before the GOD. I have put this god first. I have not worshiped this god but I have given this god a higher place of priority in my life. This has grieved my Lord.
It took me a long time to see this. My form of idolatry is totally acceptable in the culture we live in. For a long time I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. But I was. My Lord is a jealous Lord and he would not put up with it for long. (Exodus 20:5). My bridegroom wanted his bride back.
And when I saw the sin, o man I was overwhelmed with sorrow and self recrimination. I spent some time in this place of sorrow. But here comes the seduction. Even then I wanted the sin back. And the battle started. That internal struggle that happens when sin is so sweet we do not want to give it up. My head – my past teaching was telling me to walk away. My desire was telling me nothing is wrong. The battle still rages. It is painful and ugly. Most days I win the battle but some days I don’t. And when I don’t, the sin is still very sweet.
That is how people live in sin for so long. A lot of sin is sweet and we desire it.
Where is God in all this? He is waiting and loving (grace - sweet grace). My bridegroom knows I have to walk back to him freely and with full desire. Not halfway but totally. He is faithful to me even when I have been unfaithful to him. He has given me the tools to use to walk away. The question is will I use them every day, every hour, every minute if I need to...T
What does Jesus want you to do?
January 19, 2010
In church the other day, Pastor Phil asked the question, “What does Jesus want you to do?”
Then he went on to tell us that Jesus wants us to do Matthew 28:18-20. He preached a fine sermon on this passage. I, on the other was still back on the question “What does Jesus want you to do?” I am still there today. For the first time in many years I am at a cross roads in ministry. I could go left or I could go right. However, neither door seems to be opening at the moment. I am straining real hard to hear his quiet and gentle whisper for direction. I don't hear it yet. I am waiting….otherwise I would run into a closed door…..T
In church the other day, Pastor Phil asked the question, “What does Jesus want you to do?”
Then he went on to tell us that Jesus wants us to do Matthew 28:18-20. He preached a fine sermon on this passage. I, on the other was still back on the question “What does Jesus want you to do?” I am still there today. For the first time in many years I am at a cross roads in ministry. I could go left or I could go right. However, neither door seems to be opening at the moment. I am straining real hard to hear his quiet and gentle whisper for direction. I don't hear it yet. I am waiting….otherwise I would run into a closed door…..T
Goodbye to 2009, and hello to 2010!
January 1, 2010
Another year has come and gone—another year older and hopefully wiser. Every year at this time I take a few days and reflect on the past year, both good and bad, and make resolutions for the New Year. I am sure you have done the same thing and have probably set some goals to help you accomplish these resolutions or habits that you hope to develop...or break.
One of the tools I use is a list of questions by Donald Whitney, author of "Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life. " It is a simple and easy way to evaluate the year and think about the direction of my life. This list came from Donald Whitney’s website www.spiritualdisciplines.org/ He also has many other helpful tools you can use in.
1. What’s one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?
3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in 10 years? In eternity?
The value of these questions is not in their depth or completeness but in their ability to help you pin point an area of growth in you. So as the New Year starts, let’s evaluate our lives, make plans and goals and run the race to win the prize...T
The Hole
December 29, 2009
OK – I suppose I have to start writing again. The last 6 months I have been in my hole of grief, anger confusion, acceptance and hope. It’s time to come out and start living again.
The church – Stonemill Church – is gone but THE CHURCH is still there. Remember, "the gates of hell shall not prevail …..” Many of my church family will move on to other church family’s but many will join The Bridge Church, who opened their arms to all of us. The time has come to move on. There is only so long you can stay in that hole….T
OK – I suppose I have to start writing again. The last 6 months I have been in my hole of grief, anger confusion, acceptance and hope. It’s time to come out and start living again.
The church – Stonemill Church – is gone but THE CHURCH is still there. Remember, "the gates of hell shall not prevail …..” Many of my church family will move on to other church family’s but many will join The Bridge Church, who opened their arms to all of us. The time has come to move on. There is only so long you can stay in that hole….T
Grief
December 10, 2009
I lost my church last week. I knew it was coming, the end was clear but I still hoped. I prayed to the God of Hope not to let this happen. The Sovereign God answered me – trust. I cried out to my Father, “That’s not fair!” My tender Dad said, “Sin never is.” No more words came after that but He read my heartbreak and answered, “My daughter, climb into my lap.” Which I did...T
I lost my church last week. I knew it was coming, the end was clear but I still hoped. I prayed to the God of Hope not to let this happen. The Sovereign God answered me – trust. I cried out to my Father, “That’s not fair!” My tender Dad said, “Sin never is.” No more words came after that but He read my heartbreak and answered, “My daughter, climb into my lap.” Which I did...T
Commander of Victories
September 4, 2009
We live in a evil world. As Christians we know that. But often we are surprised when evil becomes obvious in our lives. We see it in other peoples lives. We see it on the news and newspapers. We often don't see it in our lives. That is why I appreciate the little book - 31 Days of Power by Ruth Myers.
She reminds me of several things - 1. Our whole life as Christians is part of the battle between God and satan. 2. Our primary goal of our warfare is not to defeat satan but to further God's purposes in this world. It is in pursuing this goal, we must resist satan and bring the power of Christ against him. satan's goal is to frustrate our Father's purpose so when we have victories in furthering God's kingdom we have frustrated satan.
In any kind of spiritual battle, our main task is to PRAY and to SHARE the good news. We often get so focused on satan and his evil strategies we forget our on goals and strategies.
The truth is, we serve the Commander of ALL Victories. We serve the God of Hope. Our enemy is already defeated. I don't know the battles you are fighting today. Maybe it is finances, a job loss, health, addictions, marriage, or children. But whatever it is - brothers and sisters, do not throw the towel in YET! Put your armor on, take you stand in the hope of the Lord!...
We live in a evil world. As Christians we know that. But often we are surprised when evil becomes obvious in our lives. We see it in other peoples lives. We see it on the news and newspapers. We often don't see it in our lives. That is why I appreciate the little book - 31 Days of Power by Ruth Myers.
She reminds me of several things - 1. Our whole life as Christians is part of the battle between God and satan. 2. Our primary goal of our warfare is not to defeat satan but to further God's purposes in this world. It is in pursuing this goal, we must resist satan and bring the power of Christ against him. satan's goal is to frustrate our Father's purpose so when we have victories in furthering God's kingdom we have frustrated satan.
In any kind of spiritual battle, our main task is to PRAY and to SHARE the good news. We often get so focused on satan and his evil strategies we forget our on goals and strategies.
The truth is, we serve the Commander of ALL Victories. We serve the God of Hope. Our enemy is already defeated. I don't know the battles you are fighting today. Maybe it is finances, a job loss, health, addictions, marriage, or children. But whatever it is - brothers and sisters, do not throw the towel in YET! Put your armor on, take you stand in the hope of the Lord!...
Listening through Scripture
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August 20, 2009
How do you listen to God? When is the last time you did listen to Him? What did he say to you? Did he tell you to do something or just have a conversation with him?
If the answer to these questions don't come easy then you may have a listening problem. In prayer, an emphasis is often placed on praise, confession, thanksgiving and asking. All of these parts are important but honestly they are all about our part of the relationship. What about God's part of the relationship? Us listening to God is almost always neglected or ignored.
One easy way to listen to God is through Scripture. When you read scripture ask yourself "What is God saying to me?" Personalize the scripture by inserting your name. Probe deeper in your heart to see what the Lord is pointing out.
To get some practice help, try the book: Simply Listening by Patsy Lewis. I have found it a great help to get me more focused on listening to him instead of me...T
I'm back
August 16, 2009
Well, I am back! I took the summer off and it was really wonderful. I got some much needed R & R. I spent some really great time with the Lord and we reconnected in some areas I really needed. I had some great "scrappin" (scrapbooking) times and got a lot of pages and cards made.
After a great rest, I am going fast and strong getting ready for the September Discipleship Month kick off. We are kicking off all Lifegroups, Women's & Men's ministries but we have a special emphasis on Sermon Based groups. After piloting them last year with awesome results we are really jumping in this year. What is a sermon based group? Leave a comment and I will tell you.....T
Well, I am back! I took the summer off and it was really wonderful. I got some much needed R & R. I spent some really great time with the Lord and we reconnected in some areas I really needed. I had some great "scrappin" (scrapbooking) times and got a lot of pages and cards made.
After a great rest, I am going fast and strong getting ready for the September Discipleship Month kick off. We are kicking off all Lifegroups, Women's & Men's ministries but we have a special emphasis on Sermon Based groups. After piloting them last year with awesome results we are really jumping in this year. What is a sermon based group? Leave a comment and I will tell you.....T
Obstacles To Intimacy with God
May 25, 2009
Catherine Martin says in her book A Heart that Dances “You and I are invited to engage in an amazing adventure: the adventure of knowing God. God says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NIV). He invites you to engage in something with Him that is much deeper than surface acquaintance. The word "know" implies familiarity, depth, and the kind of intimacy usually reserved for marriage. Intimacy is a relationship that goes deep and is marked by friendship and emotional closeness. It is private and personal. There is love, warmth, and intense joy in intimacy”.
Do you have intimacy with God like that? If you don’t, why?
Is it fear?
Fear is a powerful emotion that will often block intimacy. Are you afraid to let Christ in to ALL parts of your heart? Do you NOT trust Him? Our life’s as Christians is based on a deepening trust in God. It is trust, ever how little it may be, that first allows us to take that initial step to God. It is trust that guides us to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy, obedience and transformation. Trust is so very important to our spiritual journey.
Trust can be blocked if we carry with us negative attitudes toward God from early childhood. If we are afraid of God or see Him in a negative way trust goes out the window. Where there is fear, there is not trust therefore no intimacy. I would direct you back to Psalm 46:10. KNOW GOD. How much time have you spend knowing God and all the different ways he comes through in the Bible? How well do you know his attributes? How well do you know his character, his nature, his personality? Maybe, just maybe your view of God is not quite right. It’s hard to have intimacy with someone you don’t really know…..
T
Catherine Martin says in her book A Heart that Dances “You and I are invited to engage in an amazing adventure: the adventure of knowing God. God says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 NIV). He invites you to engage in something with Him that is much deeper than surface acquaintance. The word "know" implies familiarity, depth, and the kind of intimacy usually reserved for marriage. Intimacy is a relationship that goes deep and is marked by friendship and emotional closeness. It is private and personal. There is love, warmth, and intense joy in intimacy”.
Do you have intimacy with God like that? If you don’t, why?
Is it fear?
Fear is a powerful emotion that will often block intimacy. Are you afraid to let Christ in to ALL parts of your heart? Do you NOT trust Him? Our life’s as Christians is based on a deepening trust in God. It is trust, ever how little it may be, that first allows us to take that initial step to God. It is trust that guides us to deeper and deeper levels of intimacy, obedience and transformation. Trust is so very important to our spiritual journey.
Trust can be blocked if we carry with us negative attitudes toward God from early childhood. If we are afraid of God or see Him in a negative way trust goes out the window. Where there is fear, there is not trust therefore no intimacy. I would direct you back to Psalm 46:10. KNOW GOD. How much time have you spend knowing God and all the different ways he comes through in the Bible? How well do you know his attributes? How well do you know his character, his nature, his personality? Maybe, just maybe your view of God is not quite right. It’s hard to have intimacy with someone you don’t really know…..
T
Downward Spiral
May 19, 2009
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings.
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Casting Crown
So it is when we fall into sin.
This type of fall is very seldom quickly. Slowly, in small tiny bites godly character to eaten away and sin becomes the norm. Maybe it is “small” lies, maybe it is a quick look at that internet site, or maybe it is letting you anger fly. Whatever the compromise, whatever the deliberate looking away, whatever the oversight, before you know it you have fallen into a downward spiral of sin and a major chunk of your Christian character falls off.
Can it be stopped? How do you stop the downward spiral you have found yourself in? Here are a few practical steps;
- Take a few minutes and totally examine your life – your habits, your thoughts, your daytimer, and your checkbook. These activities will give you a clue concerning your spiral.
- Be fearless in this – don’t lie to yourself. Ask yourself the hard tough questions.
- Confess any and all sin before the Lord.
- Repent and make a plan of repentance. Ask the Lord to restore your intimate relationship with him.
- Find a accountability partner and meet regularly
Just Trust
May 7, 2009I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust--there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:19-32 (NIV)
Have you ever read the book of Jeremiah and Lamentations? I did – last summer. Jeremiah taught me a lot that summer. Jeremiah taught me to really pay attention to my heart and understand the heart attitude I approached God with.
“Should you not fear me?" declares the Lord. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it. But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away. They do not say to themselves, 'Let us fear the Lord our God, who gives autumn and spring rains in season, who assures us of the regular weeks of harvest.' Jeremiah 5:22-24 (NIV)
Jeremiah taught me how to read spiritual maps and take the right path.
“This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)
Jeremiah taught me about boasting.
This is what the Lord says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NIV)
"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5 (NIV)
If you have ever read Jeremiah, you know life was extremely difficult for Jeremiah despite his love for and obedience to God. You have to ask, “How did he endure?” When he called to God for relief, God’s reply in effect was, “If you think this is bad, how are you going to cope when it gets really tough?” WOW! That is a tough answer. Getting an answer like that makes it easy to quit. Jeremiah didn’t quit – he preserved and endured. Do you ever feel like quitting? Jeremiah didn’t quit because he trusted. He had faith in God. His faith gave him hope. Even when he felt like quitting he still trusted. God honored that. God loved that. How do I know? Because….
This is what the Lord says: "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the Lord. [6] They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives. "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit. Jeremiah 17:5-8 (NLT)
Just trust.
T
Average Wars
Sermons
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April 29, 2009
Do you sometimes feel as though you are fighting your way through life and losing the battle? There are times in life when day to day living is just day to day combat fighting. There is the battle for good health, for a strong family, for healthy children, for a strong career – or just a job. The battles really are endless. I really like the Message version of James 1:2-4;
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. [3] You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. [4] So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
Even now as I read this I think, “a sheer gift, RIGHT!!!” When I am in the middle of a battle, it is way too easy for me to do all that I can to get out of it. Staying in the battle so my “true colors” will come through is not typically the plan I have. That is why all battles are really spiritual battles - battles of faith. As Pastor Rusty will tell you in his current sermon series, Average Wars, we all struggle with doubt, sin, and temptation. Yet few of us are superstars. Most of us are average . . . average people facing extraordinary challenges. So I got to ask, how does this average girl win? How does the average anyone win?
Maybe I will pay a bit more attention to those sermons of yours PR…..T
Do you sometimes feel as though you are fighting your way through life and losing the battle? There are times in life when day to day living is just day to day combat fighting. There is the battle for good health, for a strong family, for healthy children, for a strong career – or just a job. The battles really are endless. I really like the Message version of James 1:2-4;
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. [3] You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. [4] So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
Even now as I read this I think, “a sheer gift, RIGHT!!!” When I am in the middle of a battle, it is way too easy for me to do all that I can to get out of it. Staying in the battle so my “true colors” will come through is not typically the plan I have. That is why all battles are really spiritual battles - battles of faith. As Pastor Rusty will tell you in his current sermon series, Average Wars, we all struggle with doubt, sin, and temptation. Yet few of us are superstars. Most of us are average . . . average people facing extraordinary challenges. So I got to ask, how does this average girl win? How does the average anyone win?
Maybe I will pay a bit more attention to those sermons of yours PR…..T
Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
April 20, 2009
In preparing to teach chapter 5 of Ephesians I came across the article "24 Ways to Strengthen your Marriage" by the Crosswalk.com staff. I normally do not like books or articles such as this however since I was in the research part of my preparation I decided to read it anyway. From my perspective, marriage is very hard and requires a lot of work and commitment. That being said, I have been rewarded with sweet loving satisfaction and growth with the one I love.
Being the best partner possible is not always easy. At times it's not fair. At times it hurts; it can be lonely. It involves choosing to love your partner whether he or she deserves it or not. It involves continuing the initial vows you made when you began your marriage. While the article list 24 ways, here are a few that struck me.
- Start each day with a kiss. Decide to begin the day with love.
- Wear your wedding ring at all times. Let it be a visual reminder of your commitment.
- Accept differences. Try to remember that once you thought your spouse's idiosyncrasies were cute. Your chances of changing them are slim, so decide to live with them.
- Be polite. Are you more polite to co-workers or store clerks than you are to the one you love? Practice good manners at home.
- Be gentle. Harsh words and actions have no place in your home. Choose to be kind to those you love and who love you.
- Smile often. Put on a happy face and let it determine your disposition. Remember how meaningful the glances were which you once gave each other.
- Touch. A pat on the back or a soft caress of the cheek can show love and connection. Hold hands while watching TV.
- Talk about dreams. Get your conversation beyond coordinating schedules and talking about the kids. Take time to talk about ideas and dreams.
- Laugh together. Find something daily to share a laugh about. Life is complete with laughter.
- Do what your spouse wants before being asked. Anticipate your spouse's needs and jump right in to help. Put his or her needs before your own comfort.
- Listen. You don't have to solve problems, just be an active listener. Turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your spouse your full attention.
- Encourage. The best way to give support is to encourage your spouse to do his or her best, to feel confident, or accomplish great things.
- Apologize. Almost as good as I love you is I'm sorry, forgive me. Marriage isn't a game where you keep score. It's not important who's right.
- Ask, What can I do to make you happier? You may be surprised at how simple it is to please your spouse.
- Pray for your spouse daily. Don't let a day go by without praying for your marriage, your spouse, and your family.
- Watch sunsets together. Find the beauty in life and share it.
Seems simple enough, I wonder why we don't do some of these things?
T
Fasting Results
April 15, 2009
Well, I fasted through Good Friday with Johnny. One of the main reasons I fasted was to prepare for Easter - get more in touch with the sacrifice Jesus made for me. At the end of my fast (which I stopped on Friday instead of Tuesday the 14th) I was somewhat disappointed. I am not sure at what or why but a vague sense of disappointment had settled on me. I even talked with Johnny about my fast being a “failure”.
But I have to tell you, God is mysterious in all His ways and didn’t look at my efforts as failure. Then Sunday came – He Arose! Ahh, Sunday was sweet indeed. Sunday worship was adoring and light-filled. I was giddy at being in the presence of my Lord. I enjoyed Him! I always enjoy worship but this was different. My soul was tasting the wine of heaven.
You see, my expectation of fasting was the experience would happen during the fasting. In this case – not true. Fasting does bring about one-on–one with God but during this time in my life it happened during worship – when I tuned my heart toward Him after a week of preparing for Him.
T
Well, I fasted through Good Friday with Johnny. One of the main reasons I fasted was to prepare for Easter - get more in touch with the sacrifice Jesus made for me. At the end of my fast (which I stopped on Friday instead of Tuesday the 14th) I was somewhat disappointed. I am not sure at what or why but a vague sense of disappointment had settled on me. I even talked with Johnny about my fast being a “failure”.
But I have to tell you, God is mysterious in all His ways and didn’t look at my efforts as failure. Then Sunday came – He Arose! Ahh, Sunday was sweet indeed. Sunday worship was adoring and light-filled. I was giddy at being in the presence of my Lord. I enjoyed Him! I always enjoy worship but this was different. My soul was tasting the wine of heaven.
You see, my expectation of fasting was the experience would happen during the fasting. In this case – not true. Fasting does bring about one-on–one with God but during this time in my life it happened during worship – when I tuned my heart toward Him after a week of preparing for Him.
T
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